I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
