the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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