1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
