; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
