is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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