You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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