you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
