I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
