3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
