Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
