Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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