I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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