finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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