Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
