I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
