She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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