I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
