Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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