that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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