i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize