So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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