So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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