Please, let me fuck your mom
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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