I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Farmville is her only friend.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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