Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
