well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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