Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
