I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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