when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
