dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
