I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The uberlube is also flammable
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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