We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize