i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm jealous of your bromance
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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