Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
