what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
