Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
