Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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