I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She even gives head with a lisp.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
