So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
