Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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