i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
