I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
