what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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