just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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