just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize