She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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