I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
