hotel room ftw
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
