White coat. Heels.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention