Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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(513): View more from Ohio

what's Bukake?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

a bad idea.

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(312): View more from Illinois

kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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(817): View more from Texas

so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.

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(219): View more from Indiana

she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.

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(785): View more from Kansas

She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.

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(863): View more from Florida

On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?

(1-863): View more from Florida

Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".

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