Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.