I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
a bad idea.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".