I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"