i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
