Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo