ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped