thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
