if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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