dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
