So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize