i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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