My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
