So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
