There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hate all girls vehemently.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
