you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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